Family & Marriage

The Humble Husband

Two of my favorite sporting events each year are the NFL Draft and the NBA Draft. I have no idea why, but for some reason I really love sitting down and watching each team makes their selection. I’m not particularly drawn to the drama or suspense. Seeing the sometimes-outlandish wardrobes can be entertaining, I guess. But two things are always guaranteed: Goodell will get booed and Silver will look like a high school chemistry teacher.

The days leading up to draft day are fun, too. Sports talk radio is always buzzing with predictions, hot takes and passionate commentary. Some days I catch myself sitting in my car a little longer just to hear a talk show host finish his rant or rave. With the NBA Draft scheduled for this Thursday night, this week is no exception.

As I was finishing my chicken salad sandwich sitting at our kitchen table, I heard one sports analyst comparing two top prospects in this year’s draft. Of Player A he said, “The coach just has to let him run his own game. You can’t cage him in. He has to have the freedom to create.” Then of Player B the same analyst said, “He is much more likely to fit in anywhere. He can run any number of offensive schemes, no problem.”

At first hearing, I was tempted to think, Is this guy calling one player dumb and the other player smart? But the more I thought about it the more I believe the analyst was referring to one player being humble and the other…not so much. Even if the analyst did not mean it this way intentionally, indirectly I think that is what it comes down to.

Humility has a way of changing everything. In our marriages, it can fuel love and throw water on hate. It can give a spouse strength and it can empower a spouse to keep going.

Now more than ever, husbands must embrace humility. If you are a husband consider this:

Proverbs 3:34 He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.

Humility finds favor. As men, we must realize we cannot be great husbands on our own; it takes help from God. In God’s strength and with His blessing we can be the husband we want to be and have the marriage we desire. Many husbands agree with this. But let’s take it to a personal level: it stands to reason, we must live as men who are in the best possible position to experience God’s presence in our lives. A posture of arrogance and self-centerness is not a life that will be blessed by God’s presence. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t try to be king of your marriage and ask God to bless your marriage with blessings that only come from the true King. A humble heart will be saturated with the presence of God like blood saturates cloth.

Proverbs 11:2-3 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.

Humility increases intelligence. Oh man, do I wish I were smarter! There are times when I can read an instruction manual word-for-word and still fail to assemble the product correctly! Our marriages are the exact same way. In the event we do actually read “the manual” (the Bible) we are still in need of wisdom that can only come from God. No amount of time on the golf course with your buddies or time in the man-shed with you pals is going to generate the kind of wisdom we need. A humble heart is one that will listen to the convictions of God as He leads and guides. Whenever conflict happens in our marriage (and believe me, it happens in every marriage) a humble husband will be guided by God to make the right decision – knowing what to say and what to do, or what not to say or what not to do. Every husband needs more wisdom. God will not give the blessing of wisdom to the husband who is so arrogant he thinks he knows it all or is too prideful to stop and ask God.

Proverbs 22:4 Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life.

Humility receives riches. I will never forget talking to my childhood best friend after his first job interview in his career field. He told me his salary would be $60,000. Sixty thousand! I thought to myself. There is no way he could ever spend that much money!!! Little did I know, there are a lot of people in a lot of different career fields that make a lot more money than that! But it was my first exposure to any kind of income beyond minimum wage. The Bible teaches us that there is a wage for husbands who are humble. That “wage”, ironically, is something money can’t buy. While our society tempts husbands to pursue riches they can achieve and acquire, God isn’t interested in that. God is a God who searches men’s hearts. If he finds in you and me a heart of humility, it is then we will be blessed with riches and honor and life. No amount of money or things, toys or vacations can “fix” a marriage. But a husband who has a humble heart will be satisfied and blessed in unmeasurable ways. Ways that will greatly bless his marriage for the better.

So will Player A make it in the NBA? Only time will tell. But we can nearly guarantee there will always be a team that makes a roster spot for Player B.

Many husbands are like Player A. “Don’t cage me in. Let me be me and do things my way.”

Will your marriage be perfect if you walk in humility? Most likely not because no marriage is ever “perfect”.

But if you will stop fighting the urge to consume the spotlight and be king of your castle, God will bless you with His favor, intelligence and riches in a way that will make your heart perfectly content with your wife.

 

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